My signs of aging are comically depressing

My hair is almost all grey and continues to thin on top. Everyone tell me my face looks young but all I see when looking into the mirror is my graying hair. Worst of all is my ears. I  used to get the occasional hair jutting out from my ears. I'd pluck it and be done with it but it would return and it would bring a friend. Slowly, over time, one jutting hair became two. Two hairs became four. Four became eight. The fuckers were literally growing at an exponential rate. This situation, however unfortunate, has resulted in my need to shave my ears when shaving my face. It's comically depressing and I can't help from laughing while shaving my ears.

The pangs of aging and all their joy...