Do you like the beautiful Thai lady?

No thanks...

When I'm getting a foot massage from a lady (an older lady) she invariably wants to know my "situation", single, married, gay, traveling here with someone or alone, how long am I here for, hotel, condo or house... When asked about relationships I always say "Thai girls are so beautiful" because they are. There's a whole town of twenty-something hotties walking around but it's impossible to have a conversation with one of them so what's the point? If you are into cheap meaningless sex, this place is a fucking gold mine (fucking being the operative word). When they find out I'm not gay the next question from the older Thai massage women will be " Do you like the beautiful Thai lady"? I always  interpret this as, do I like them or am I interested in them? The answer, No. Just the foot rub mam. I will not be rude as that would not be nice or purdent. I don't want my foot bruised.  

I have no interest in taking care of you, your eight kids, your parents and your grandparents but hay, thanks for making me feel uncomfortable by asking such a question. I can see it in their eyes, they are interested in tactical information only. This is not conversation for the sake of conversation. It's unsettling to know they are after tactical information during a foot rub in the hopes to put that information to use in service of their best interest. Those types of questions really add an uncomfortable flare to the whole foot rub experience but hey, it's just six dollars. I can afford that every day.

I did not come to Thailand to date someone my own age. Has my life long fantasy been to have sex with a fifty year old Thai woman? No. I don't think so. Zero interest in that. Not gonna happen. No way. No how.  

During the massage they always use this stick. They all have one. It's standard issue for massage therapist (from what I can tell). The stick is about five to six inches long with one end pointier than the other. I asked the lady today, "what do you call that" and I pointed to the stick in her hand. She looked completely dumbfounded and that I found to be odd. For a second or two I imagined that long dramatic pause was going to be followed up with something funny like "In Thailand we call this a stick". That never happened.

They use that stick for pressure points on the foot, reflexology and that sort of thing. Some put more pressure on the  points than others and much of that has to do with confidence, training and experience. I got the once-over with the stick today. A couple of times I yelped out in pain. If they do it right, it was worth every baht and every scream.
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The foot massage is reason enough to come to Thailand. 

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