The homeless mother and child

 

 

I needed to go up to the mall today, Kad Suan Kaew Central Mall. If you stand in front of this mall you would think you were in America. there's a Starbucks out front and a KFC and Sizzler. Disgustingly American. As I crossed the street I saw a mother and her child sitting in the shade. They were homeless. The homeless here make the homeless in America seem lucky. They looked as if they had not bathed in weeks, if not months. It was so painful to see.

 

The horror of the sight hit me like a punch in the stomach and the shock of that almost brought me to my knees. I could not stop the tears from leaking out. What kind of a person am I to see something like that and do nothing. No Thing. --- I hate myself today. I hate myself for not stopping and giving her the 320 baht I had in my pocket.

 

When I fail to summon the courage to act my fallback position is to hate God. ---- I know, God did not create the society that would allow such a sight. We did. Us. All of us. Everyone on the planet is a little bit culpable. Sometimes hating God is easier than doing something. I would not be feeling tortured right now if I'd given her the 320 baht in my fucking pocket.

 

The odd part of this scene is her son, a child about three years old. The child did not sound miserable and tortured. He had this completely joyful and charming laughter about him. That was an incongruity.

 

Can I go back tomorrow and help?

 

"I don't know. Can you. But "can you" is not the question needing to be asked. The real question is, Will you?

 

What will you do"?

 

It's easy to sit in your condo, watching tv and stuffing your fat ass with delicious food, then write about what a tradgy that scene was today. It takes courage to act. It takes no courage to view and comment. There are times writing about such tradgies serves a purpose. This is not one of those times. Writing this serves only to appease you, to shelter the burden from your shoulders. It serves no one".

 

 

 

 

 

specious

spe·cious

/ˈspēSHəs/

 

Adjective Superficially plausible, but actually wrong: "a specious argument". Misleading in appearance, esp. misleadingly attractive: "a specious appearance of novelty".

My Peaceful Warrior Notes

Peaceful Warrior:

 

Peaceful Warrior is a 2006 drama film directed by Victor Salva and written by Kevin Bernhardt based on the novel Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. Set at U.C.

I first watched this movie back in 2007 and watched it again today on youtube. It's excellent. Lots of great messages.


"Trash" is defined as anything keeping you from this moment, being in the moment

Everything has a purpose, it's up to you to find it

Look within for your answers.

The people that are the hardest to love are the people who need love the most

How much time do you spent every day working on being a better person?

Be conscious about your choices and responsible for your actions

A warrior is about absolute vulnerability

A warrior is not about perfection

The accident is your training.

A warrior acts only a fool reacts

There is no starting or stopping or doing

Paradox
Humor
Change

1. Paradox; life is a mystery so don't waste time trying to figure it out
2. Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself, it is a strength beyond all measure
3. Change: None or nothing stays the same

The journey is what brings us out for the journey holds more value than the destination

A warrior acts...

Only a fool reacts...


When you run around reacting to lifes events and the people upon your path then they are in charge of your life, the events and the people. Everyone and every  thing is in charge  ------------------------- but you.

React to this,

React to that,

React to this,

React to that,

It never stops. It's never ending. It's an exhausting way in which to lead your life..

This is how most people live...

This is one of the things that allows people not stuck in the world of reacting to get ahead.

it's not enough.

I've evolved to the point where I think it's boring getting a foot massage every day. Today I had a scalp massage added to my request. Ninety minutes, one hour on the feet and thirty minutes of a scalp massage. ------------- It was good but it's not nearly enough. It's not satisfying. It's just being pampered. I live a pampered life here and it's not satisfying. I doubt my purpose in life is to spend the rest of my life here being pampered.

 

I do as I please all day every day. I get the best drugs upon request but it's not enough. My latest drug is liquid morphine.

"Hates it"!!!!!

I slept like shit three days back to back because of the liquid morphine. I definitely takes the pain away but makes me tremble and when it wares off the trembling is worse. I spent two days listening to my hypnosis tapes on sleep and relaxation to get past the morphine shakes. I'm done with that stuff.  I think it's funny that people on the street would kill for that stuff. I don't get what the big deal is. Who wants to go around nervous and shaking.

 

I watched the Peaceful Warrior on YouTube. I identify with the philosophy that service to others is the highest goal to which man can aspire. Actually, I think Love is the highest goal to which man can aspire but a life filled with service to others is about the best Mankind has to offer.  

I read once the first realization of a warrior is not knowing and that being a warrior is about absolute vulnerability. There's something about these words that rings true for me. I certainly understand no knowing and I certainly feel vulnerability in my life.

So what next???

.

 

 

It stinks outside

I don't know if it's the heat or not but the smell seems to be getting worse. There's the smog. There's the moat and there's the garbage being thrown into the streets from all the vendors. They throw their dirty water and whatnot right into the street near a drain but it rarely goes down. It sits there in the street, layer upon layer. There are decades upon decades of filth in the streets and in the gutters. This is the way it's been done forever so there's no change in sight.

 

The smell gets a little more disgusting each and every day. For a while I thought the city just needs a good rain but we've had rain and nothing changed. Still stinks to high heaven.

I've been here a couple of months now and can't really say I've come across the stink of cigarette smoke which I think is odd because I see signs of people smoking and I see people smoking, so what gives? Today I was in the vicinity of two Caucasians smoking and it really stunk up a storm. One of the smokers held the cigaretter in her hand in such a manner as to have it on display,

 "look everybody, I'm smoking".

This reminded me of when my dad bought his second wife a four carot diamond ring. She could not pass you the salt at the dinner table without showing off that ring. She was a miserable human being and she drank herself to death. Alcoholic. She did not drink because she was full of love, that's for damn sure.

I deduced from this it is the cigarettes that smell so foul. Americans smoke the American cigarettes with all those filthy toxic disgusting chemicals and the locals smoke the local cigarettes which are not as offensive smelling probably becuase they are just tobacco. I think? I guess?


.

Whisky girls/bar girls and hookers

I read that Thai girls will not show affection in public. They are much too conservative for that. From what I can tell, that seems to be true and it seems to be the general rule here. I'm out and about all the time, every day, and I see many couples out there but never holding hands, never kissing or displaying affection of any kind or in the public view. Once in awhile I'll see a girl with a Caucasian man and she hangs onto him as if her life depends upon it. Most of the time the girls hanging on to the guys are made up with makeup that reminds me of looking at a corps, overly Rosy cheeks that stand out and that sort of thing. I have deduced this is a bar girl or a whore. The girls are always really cute, sometimes they are model hot, long and lean with dynamite figures but the makeup I think is a dead give away. Too much makeup, horrible makeup and clinging to her Caucasian man.  

 

I think the girls clinging is sure sign the relationship is very temporary.

 

 

  

I saw a motorcycle accident today

I was out running errands, songthaew-ing around town. I got out of the songthaew and headed across the street. At one point, while in the middle of the street, I was forced to stop and wait for traffic to pass. When the opportunity presented itself I proceeded forward and stubbed my toe something fierce. It stopped me cold. I hit the bottom portion of a guard rail put up to direct traffic. Big toe on right foot (good foot) was screaming in pain. People on the street heard me and thought it was the bad leg as I had the brace on.

Now both feet hurt.

I popped into a movie store to check out the new rentals. I picked up three. They burn copies of brand new movies and charge 40 baht.

After leaving the store and heading back across the street, the same side I was dropped off on, I heard a bang, then a crash. I looked to my right and saw two motorcycles down. Two people laying on the street. A guy and a girl. The guy popped up first and pointed to the guard rail. The exact same guard rail I kicked with my foot. He said

 "It moved. Did you see it move"?

 

He claimed the guard rail moved or jumped into his path. He hit the rail and whet down taking another rider behind him down. -------- Is that possible? Did the rail really move. Was there a ghost pushing it in the path of on-comers like me and the guy on the motorcycle? After hearing that I turned my back and got the hell out of there. 

 

 

If the riders were injured it was just minor scrapes and bruises. Neither wore gloves but both had on helmets.

 

Back into a songthaew and on my way...



Another haircut

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Tiger Kingdom Friday - It was amazing x 2

This experience was just as good as the Elephant Park, it was magical ------------ and then some. 

More to write later... Uploading pics first

This was one of the best days so far. All the days just keep getting better and better. I met lots of cool people and made some new friends. We are all meeting up for dinner tonight.

This place is so cool!

Thank you God...

 

They charge for your time in the cage, babies and cubs are more expensive. The big tigers are cheaper because they might kill you so it's a trade-off, less money but you may die. I did not pay to sit with the cubs. No danger in that. The big dog's gonna play with the big cats.  

 

It cost me 720 baht for 15 minutes with the big cats, there were four in the cage. 420 baht to get into the cage and 300 baht for a photographer. Worth every baht!

 

Tiger Kingdom is a place for strictly tourist. As I sat comfortably waiting for my number to be called I did some people watching. Tourist watching. One family from France, mom, dad, and son about 5 or 6 were interesting. The mom and child did not go in to hang with the big cats. Just dad. The mom said no fucking way! I don't speak french but I got that. She would not let the child in either. "we'll watch from out here" I interpreted her saying.

 

The younger tourist, early 20's, all wanted in with the big cats. Young and fearless. They lead ordinary lives back home and this is their moment to do something special, something interesting and  profound. They heard the words "carpe diem" being whispered into their ears, and they seized it. Today is their days. Now is their time. This is why they put up with customers with shitty attitudes. This is why  they went to school. This is why they bite their tongues during times of great frustration at work.  Now step aside while I put my life in jeopardy to get in the cage with a six hundred pound predator that could snap my neck with the greatest of ease.

 

All the people at Tiger Kingdom fit into one of two categories, couples or families. I was the only one flying solo. Ninety percent of the girls were smoking hot with huge racks. This is the kind of vacation smoking hot girls get to go on. I guess the fat ugly girls go on Cruise ships and spend their time standing around the buffet tables getting their monies worth. That's the logic of fools and morons. I had a sister that went on a three day cruise after getting married and gained eleven pounds. Think about that. Almost four pounds per day. As soon as she got hitched, time to get fat! "I don't care how I look any more. I am married". Doesn't that sound special.

 

I end the afternoon with a foot massage...

 

Heaven... I'm in heaven.

I love Chiang Mai. Every day the world get a little brighter and a little better.

I'm in the massage parlor and getting my foot massage. The girl is cute, really cute. Maybe 30. I hope she's got skills.

I'm writing as she begins the massage. She makes a comment about my writing and says, "Get details". It's actually great advice. I tell her I'm writing about her "She's very beautiful" I say. Then she calls me "a Joker".

No stick in sight :-)

Somehow they sense it. I don't need the stick for awhile.


.








.

courage

“Whatever course you decide upon there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires....courage.”

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

ThaiVisa.com

Prior to coming Chiang Mai I got the news updates about Thailand from ThaiVisa.com. Some of the news updates were so horrifying I often decided against coming here and thought Nicaragua would be a better choice. I investigated some of the stories further and found a few to be complete lies or at best, half truths.

One such story that made ThaiVisa headlines was about two Caucasian men found dead in front of their TV watching a sporting event. Two grown men, one Aussie and one from the UK, they were deader than shit covered in vomit. This was scary.----- I don't recall if it was days or weeks later I did a follow-up search on the story. I was curious. What did these med die from?

As it turns out the two men had what appeared to be cocaine on the table in front of them, coke or crystal meth (a white powder substance on the coffee table). The headline made is seem as if it was a big fucking mystery as to how these gentleman died. --- No mystery. They bought illegal drugs, consumed them and got screwed to death by the dealer. ThaiVisa left out the part of the drugs on the coffee table. It's more provocative if you leave out the whole story. Truth can be a real downer if you are into spreading lies.

What I found to be even more interesting is all the comments left by the schmucks with nothing better to do with their lives than leave benign judgemental comments about the half-truths, lies and innuendo. First off, you are leaving a comment about a story that is a half truth or lie.

It's easy to leave a comment on a web page about a lie. It's more difficult to actually get off your fat ass and go out and help. Making the world a better place would require real effort. --- I think it's safe to say if you are perusing the web for horrible stories to comment on the life you have is not quality. Did these people raise children that went out into the world and made it a better place? No fucking way. You know that didn't happen. These are the actions of misery, hate and fear. Misery spreads misery because misery loves company.

 

 

 

.

A quarter of a million baht ----- and counting

I've been in Chiang Mai for seven weeks (Jan 4th 2013). Since coming to Thailand I've spent over a quarter of a million baht. I've not had sex since arriving here. No whisky girls. No hookers. No nothing. One lunch  date that I could not get away from fast enough. It cost me a whopping 200 baht.

How many men can say that? I do not like being a cliche. I do not want to be one of those fifty something, sixty something or older men walking around with a young Thai girlfriend that I honestly know nothing about. The reason I would know nothing about her is because we do not speak the same language. ---- I see these guys walking down the street or sitting in restaurants with their Thai gal-pals but I never  and I mean never see them engrossed in conversation. What's the most shocking is when you see an older man with an ugly Thai girl. I don't get that. Why come all the way here and pick out an ugly girl when you could have the pick of the litter? You can get fat and ugly back home. --- but what do I know. I'm alone. ----------------  But I'm not lonely :-)

 

It's not just Thailand. Back in the days of my trafficking I would often visit Las Vegas. My customers and I would meet there for delivery of cash. Many times I would leave with hundreds of thousands of dollars of  drug money in my suitcase. In all my trips to Las Vegas I never had sex with anyone other than my wife. This was out of choice and desire. My choice. My desire.  

How many men can say that?

I marry girls (two ex-wives) because I want to fuck them. I don't know why other men marry girls then go to Vegas and fuck whores? Well, I do know why, I've been told by these men.

"I married her because I thought she would be a great mom"

I've heard that a number of times.

"I didn't think anyone better would come along"

 

I've heard this one too.

"I thought  I was in love with her"?

years later they will add this to that statement,

 

"I thought I was in love with her. Turns out, not so much".

 

This guy just doesn't get it

I saw a greeting card years ago, on the greeting card was a cartoon illustration of a man in Hell, he was shoveling coal into the furnace of hellish desire. Standing guard were two of the Devil's henchman.

While the man was shoveling coal he was whistling with a smile on his face and joy in his heart. One henchman said to the other:

"This guy just doesn't get it"

The card, it's image and its message has stuck with me since all those years ago (1988).

Miserable people want for nothing more than to spread their misery. One thing I've learned from experience is this, misery loves company. Some people have nothing or less than nothing but they find a way to experience joy with life. Some people have everything but they are miserable. The worst part of the miserable people is this, not only are they miserable they look to do all they can to spread their misery and infect as many people as possible with their misery for misery loves company. 

The greeting card reminds me of all the Christians I know. Especially the Christians trying to convert you in the insanity of Christianity. I've met Christians so insecure they cannot stand the thought of someone not believing as they do and they become obnoxious about trying to convert you. Tis the nature of Christianity.

One of the keys to happiness in life is to identify the miserable people as fast as you can and distancing yourself from them.   

Accept people for who they are. Forgive them their transgressions and love everyone unconditionally. I wish I could do this....

.

 

Heineken Thursday :-)

Today is Heineken Thursday. I keep telling myself Heineken Thursday's are a thing of the past but they keep rearing their mischievous heads. Oh well.

I have two frosty Heineken's in the frig. Oh ya.

When I set out today to run my errands I noticed a Winter jacket sitting atop a motorcycle parked in front of the Kantary Inn Hotel. The jacket spoke to me.

The first thing the jacket said was "Chiang Mai is such a safe place to live you can leave something like a winter jacket out in the open and alone and not worry. No one will steal it. This could not happen in most the big cities in America. Opportunistic thieves would seize upon this happening and capitalize on it. Such is life in America.

The second thing uttered by he jacket on a hot sweaty 93 degree Summer day is ----------- imagine the acclimation process for needing to wear something like this on a hot summer day. I go out there and sweat my fat ass off.

Today I got the WORST foot massage ever. I still tipped the incompetent young lady but vowed to never go back to that establishment.

I am who I am...

"I am who I am not in spite of my flaws but because of my flaws"


I read this recently and cannot get it out of my head. I feel the same way the author did about his flaws. I think many people would be well served to think about this quote. ---- It may be different if your flaws include harming the innocent but if your flaws only include only yourself then who's to say they are even flaws?

I am who I am because of my flaws...

Bill Murray Documentary

One of my favorite comedians is Bill Murray. I'm watching a documentary on his life right now. Through the documentary I find out he was arrested at the age of 20 at O'Hare with a suitcase full of weed. He was bound for Denver, Co.

I didn't know he was that cool.

I wonder how many trips he made prior to getting busted


.

CheeseBurger Wednesday

I developed this undeniable need for some greasy American food. Specifically, I felt the need for a cheeseburger and fries. I went to Google and asked for the best cheeseburger in Chiang Mai. Google said, Pinky's Buffalo Wings. So shall it be. Of course it was all the way over on the other side of town so I jumped in a song thaews also known as a red truck (referred to as red trucks because they are red and they are trucks) also referred to as a local bus then headed over to Chiang Mio Road.

40 bath later I get dropped off and head down the street. My thinking is to find a massage shop and get a foot massage before I eat. A little rub, absent the tug, then a meal.

I pass a massage parlor and pause for a second or two, is this the place I should go today? The pause is all that was needed before I got hauled in by one of the girls. a pretty one at that. "How much" and I point to my feet? 180 baht. "Sold". I'm taken to the back and pointed to one of the chairs. I get settled in. What I like most about this place right away is the AC is on and it works well. Nice and cool. An added bonus, the cute girl assigned to my feet is really cure. She brings me a bottled water and reclines me back in the chair, all the way back. ---- when the massage begins the shops busy-body comes over and tries to sell me other services. Like I need a fucking manicure or pedicure. I'd tell her to piss off but she's really hot. Then she starts gabbing up a storm with the girl working on my feet, I hear the back and forth dialog between them and decide to jump in to the conversation. I declare:

"Yes", as if I know what the fuck they are talking about.

My decloration stops them cold. Their conversation ends. With their eyes widened the busy body says:

"Really"

I hunch my shoulders up and give a facial expression mixed with a smile indicating I'm just kidding. I've not a clue as to what you are saying. Then the busy body tries to hook me up with the girl massage my feet. She says about the girl:

"She thinks you're lovely"

 '

"Lovely"? Really. That's a real fucking turn-off and I almost had a boner.

 

I think she's lovely too, I say.

 

After the foot rub I head down the street to the tasty cheeseburger that awaits my fat belly.

 

On the way I see many shops with dresses. I stop, pause and think about one of the dressed, Maybe that would look great on sarah or my daughter. -- One of the shops I see has stationary so I pop in. My journal is almost out of room. Time to reload. While in the stationary store I ask the girls about Pinky's Buffalo Wings. I come to find out I'm not on Chiang Moi Road, I'm on Thae Pae Gate Road, I'm one intersection off.

 

Long story short I cannot find the fucking place. I end up at Mikes Original hot dog stand. I decided any cheeseburger will do at this point. I've not eaten yet today (it's 4:30pm and keep in mind I did not wake up til 1:30pm). I'm hungry. I order a cheeseburger and fries and deep fried prawns with bottled water.

 

It's greasy disgusting and delicious, just like home.

 

After the meal I'm back in a song thaews and heading for home. I've been out and about for hours. There's traffick, heat and smog so thick you can taste. It's gross out and 93 degrees gross. Each of these (traffick, heat and smog) are all things making the digesting of that disgusting pile of grease all the more difficult. I hack up a nasty lung biscuit, stick my head out the window of the song theaw and spit it into the street. How I'm hoping and praying I do not hit some innocent bystander with my flemmy biscuit. That would be disgusting. 

 

I don't feel well.

 

While sitting at a stop light I see a street vendor selling food, selling something I've not seen before, Eggs on a stick. It kind of reminds me of Cup-a-pizza from the movie The Jerk, with Mr. Steve Martin.  Eggs on a stick. Three eggs to a stick (kabob) and it looks like the shells still on the eggs. I'm intrigued. I'm going back tomorrow and getting me some eggs on a stick. I gotta try that.  

 

I'm gonna get sick. I'm gonna puke. Why did I want that fucking burger. I'm in desperate need of an alka seltzer :-(

 

On the topic of food, I've purchased three more helpings of soup this morning at the organic market. The soup is outstanding but I'm eating it five times a week. It's losing it's delicious luster. I need to find a new soup. I did pick up one serving of a new soup and hope this works out. I hope it's full of flavor and not mouth meltingly hot.

 

 

Another amazing sunrise

It's an incredible sight to see as I walk down the street on my way to the market.

My sleep pattern is all turned around.

more later,

Back to bed...

(Later)
Good Morning Chiang Mai :-)

Up and wide awake at the crack of 1:30pm. My frig is full of food that should last me a week.

Old man and his beard

It was not that hot today. Nice surprise. Or maybe it was just as hot but I'm becoming accustom to the heat?

Heat update: It was 90 degrees today so it would appear I am becoming accustom to the heat.

I saw an old man riding down the street today on a motorcycle. It was a motorcycle with a sidecar. These are somewhat common here in Chiang Mai because of their functionality while being extremely efficient with gas. The old man was Caucasian and in his sixties or older. He had solid white/gray hair that was long, just above shoulder length and he was sporting a full beard that was as long as his hair. The man wore the beard the way many Amish men wear their beards as well as the way President Lincoln most often wore his beard, absent the mustache part of the beard.  The long hair and bear resembled a lions mane. It was a striking sight to see. I wish I had a camera...

There's a real difference in the way people drive here vs back in the USA. I'm referring to how or when people shift gears, whether in a car or on a motorcycle. In America people tend to push the upper edge of the envelope in their gears. You hear the engines in America whining and screaming more, maybe that's more with the man as we possess the capacity to be macho-shitheads while driving. Here in Chiang Mai people stay lower, in as low a gear as possible. It almost feels and sounds they do this to the detriment of the engine but I cannot make that judgement as I'm not a mechanic. I'm willing to bet it has something to do with gas mileage. The higher the RPM's the more gas you burn.   
   

It was Foot Massage Tuesday

I love Foot Massage Tuesday's, they are one of my favorite days of the week.

Today I was gifted the chance to get another fantastic foot massage. The place I went to had a giant sign out front listing all their prices for the various massages offered:

Thai Massage
Foot Massage
Hot Oil Massage....

and yet a customer, an American knowing how to speak Thai, peaked his head in to the establishment and asked "How much for a foot massage". The morons and geniuses tent to stand out. And it was a very familiar face too boot.

He's been here long enough to learn Thai so I assume he's somewhat educated. Maybe just a high school diploma from America but he speaks a little Thai which means he's got a little on the ball. He looked like former military intelligence. If that's true it means hes got a degree in something. 

With all that knowledge...

At one point during the foot massage I wanted to get up and yank that fucking stick out of her hands and throw it out into god damn street. If you rub any one spot long enough you are going to get a response. If you put enough pressure on any given spot you can get a reaction. I get it, sometimes a tenderness to a certain spot can indicate a problem with your kidney's or your liver or your whatever. I buy in to the reflexology. That's why I go for so many foot massages. Sometimes tenderness to a spot can simply mean you are rubbing that spot too long or too hard. The End...


.

My signs of aging are comically depressing

My hair is almost all grey and continues to thin on top. Everyone tell me my face looks young but all I see when looking into the mirror is my graying hair. Worst of all is my ears. I  used to get the occasional hair jutting out from my ears. I'd pluck it and be done with it but it would return and it would bring a friend. Slowly, over time, one jutting hair became two. Two hairs became four. Four became eight. The fuckers were literally growing at an exponential rate. This situation, however unfortunate, has resulted in my need to shave my ears when shaving my face. It's comically depressing and I can't help from laughing while shaving my ears.

The pangs of aging and all their joy...

On-line accounts continue to get hacked

Oscar Wilde quote:

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative".

My on-line accounts continue to get hacked.

It smells like a stinky moron at work!

Stinks

.

Fantastic foot massage today. From a dude (Yikes)

I opted for another foot massage today. When I walked in and pointed to my feet the proprietor asked "reflexology", I said "No. Thai foot massage" hoping to not see the stick (Please, no more sitck, not today). She asked me to have a seat and said it would be a few minutes. I took a seat and she got on the phone and began calling people, her list of stand-by massage therapists.

While in route to the massage parlor I saw someone walking down the street in the Thai version of a berka. It may have been a dude, I'm not sure. The entire body wrapped up. How can this be I thought, it's so damn hot out.

While seated in the massage parlor I had to request the fan be turned on. Why are they not hot?

I  waited for my foot massage, maybe five minutes. Someone drove up on a motorcycle and parked on the sidewalk directly in front of the the massage parlor. The dude got off the motorcycle and came inside. This was my massage therapist for the day. Yikes. A dude, no stick in hand. Happy not to see the stick, unhappy to have a dude as a massage therapist for the day.

I got a very therapeutic foot massage, one of the best I've had during my stay so far. I fell asleep during the massage. He started with the bad leg. I did not know how gentle he was being until he moved over to the good leg and gave that leg the rough treatment. Each therapist is intimidated at the sight of my leg. I've learned I need to instruct them (most of them) it's okay to give a deep tissue massage on the bad leg. That's what it needs.

Towards the end of the massage, when I woke up, the proprietor was kidding me about having fallen asleep while in the chair. I think they were all having a little laugh (at my expense) while I was asleep. Hay, guess what. I'll be back. If I  get the dude a second time there will not be a third.

So sayeth the Chip...


  

Change

"Change is the essential process of all existence"

"change is the one constant of the universe"

Leo Buscalia said "each and every time we experience something new we emerge as something new". How can you not love that.

Writing advice

The one bit of writing advice I got that made sense was this, if you have thoughts and ideas that would be considered controversial, write about them in as much detail as possible. Be provocative. Be Contraversial. Push the edge of the envelop, even if it offends. Especially if it offends. Provocative will get more attention than writing page after page of politically correct thoughts and ideas of interest to No One. Provocative will get you attention,  even if it's bad attention, in the world of publishing, bad attention = attention. It's the same equation for my life.  

The message came through loud and clear.

This advice unleashed me. 

 
 

Do you like the beautiful Thai lady?

No thanks...

When I'm getting a foot massage from a lady (an older lady) she invariably wants to know my "situation", single, married, gay, traveling here with someone or alone, how long am I here for, hotel, condo or house... When asked about relationships I always say "Thai girls are so beautiful" because they are. There's a whole town of twenty-something hotties walking around but it's impossible to have a conversation with one of them so what's the point? If you are into cheap meaningless sex, this place is a fucking gold mine (fucking being the operative word). When they find out I'm not gay the next question from the older Thai massage women will be " Do you like the beautiful Thai lady"? I always  interpret this as, do I like them or am I interested in them? The answer, No. Just the foot rub mam. I will not be rude as that would not be nice or purdent. I don't want my foot bruised.  

I have no interest in taking care of you, your eight kids, your parents and your grandparents but hay, thanks for making me feel uncomfortable by asking such a question. I can see it in their eyes, they are interested in tactical information only. This is not conversation for the sake of conversation. It's unsettling to know they are after tactical information during a foot rub in the hopes to put that information to use in service of their best interest. Those types of questions really add an uncomfortable flare to the whole foot rub experience but hey, it's just six dollars. I can afford that every day.

I did not come to Thailand to date someone my own age. Has my life long fantasy been to have sex with a fifty year old Thai woman? No. I don't think so. Zero interest in that. Not gonna happen. No way. No how.  

During the massage they always use this stick. They all have one. It's standard issue for massage therapist (from what I can tell). The stick is about five to six inches long with one end pointier than the other. I asked the lady today, "what do you call that" and I pointed to the stick in her hand. She looked completely dumbfounded and that I found to be odd. For a second or two I imagined that long dramatic pause was going to be followed up with something funny like "In Thailand we call this a stick". That never happened.

They use that stick for pressure points on the foot, reflexology and that sort of thing. Some put more pressure on the  points than others and much of that has to do with confidence, training and experience. I got the once-over with the stick today. A couple of times I yelped out in pain. If they do it right, it was worth every baht and every scream.
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The foot massage is reason enough to come to Thailand. 

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A conversation at Elephant park...

I had a conversation with a couple during the lunch break of our groups day at elephant park. I noticed a tattoo on the girl and inquired about its meaning or origin. The tattoo had something to do with a performer, a singer, a female singer and her band (Mindy McCready if memory serves). This performer allegedly stood as an example to girls and their empowerment "Girl Power" that sort of thing. It's actually better stated as the power of the vagina but I digress. I think this is nice for girls to hear from someone standing on a stage singing to adoring throngs of fans. For some reason the quote below flashed into my mind as she began to speak:

"No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child"

------ What I found most interesting about this girl and her words is how she spoke them. She was twenty five, maybe thirty years old and she spoke with baby-talk, to adults. Speaking baby talk to babies is okay but when you are speaking to adults, it shows how fucking stupid you are. It was a whinny, squeaky, whimper, high-pitched absolutely forced baby-talk voice. This girl was in dire need of a vocal makeover. The way this girl spoke made it difficult to take any of her words seriously but she was cute with a nice figure so it was easy to understand why her boyfriend kept her around. I would think there a limit any man would reach when having to listen to that tone of voice and manner of speaking no matter how pretty the face or how hot the body. 

After five minutes of that moronic baby-talk voice I wanted to scream in her face to shut the fuck up!  

Ya, girl power, now please shut up. And, PS (postscript) grow the fuck up and speak like an adult. Ditz.   

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I wake up every morning now....

........................... positively effervescent with ideas for writing. Before I even have my first sip of coffee I'm writing and not lacking for inspiration or things to write about. I might be lacking focus as I switch from the book to the blog to resume but never short on inspiration. Out of the blue I decided to make my resume look good on LinkedIn. I've filled in the details and given it some color. More is yet to come. There is always more to come.

 

I watched the sun rise this morning

I watched the sun rise this morning as I walked down the street heading towards the market. It was a fine and glorious sight to see. The sight was so inspiring a lady walking just in front of me took out her camera and began taking photographs of the sun. It looked amazing, magical. The sun looked like a giant orange orb glowing in a subdued brilliance unlike anything I'd ever seen outside of a photograph. I felt as if I could reach out and touch it, hold it within the grasp of my hands. I felt as powerful as God as I could make the sun an instrument of my pleasure and desire.

These are magical times never to be forgotten, and where is Sarah for all this? My former best friends and companion is no where in sight.

Oh well. Sobeit....

Know this, if you choose the path of revenge it means you are miserable and misery loves company. If those you seek revenge upon those that are miserable and hating every minute life brings to them, you need not do anything to exact your revenge. My advice, distance yourself from them. Let them be. They are suffering so let them be. If it's revenge you seek, let them be. Let them continue to suffer. Don't interrupt. Don't change a thing. Let them be. Let time punish them. Let time do your bidding. Let the seconds and minutes be your servants. Let the hours and days do your bidding. Let the weeks, months and years exact the revenge you seek. Let the misery they know every second of every minute of every day unleash your revenge. 

So sayeth the Chip...

Confucius said, on the topic of revenge:

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

 

For those of you incapable of understanding wisdom this is the point, dig a grave for yourself, or it might mean dig a grave for someone you love. Maybe revenge for you requires someone you love to suffer while you live. But who needs revenge upon you if you are miserable? 

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Food cost in Chiang Mai

Between the Organic Market and some thrifty shopping at the grocery story I think it's possible to eat well here for about $30 to $40 per week. Some would argue $20 to $30. I will not disagree. This is one of the appealing aspects to life is Chiang Mai, You can live well and eat well on a pittance. As long as you don't mind the smell and the poverty.

I think the appeal for some is that they get to look down upon others, some misfortune, that make their lives more appealing. If it takes a contrast of other suffering to make your life appealing then I refer to you as a piece of shit. A piece of human waste floating down a canal filled with human excrement.

If you are the kind of person to find personal relief in the suffering of others then you are living a life of suffering denied but I digress.

I tried the fresh squeezed OJ today. Those tasty oranges make fantastic juice. How could they not.

I went to the market after two hours sleep. I felt so tired I was almost sick and ready to puke. I was at the market at 7:00am. I spent maybe 300 baht. I am learning how to get more and spend less, it's all part of the learning curve. 

After returning from the market I downed the bottle of fresh squeeze then went back to bed where I slept until 1:00pm.

Good sleep.

Sad to see no duck eggs this morning :-(

The stinkest man in the world

I've turned to youtube for my TV fixes. Most of what youtube has to offer that I am interested in are documentaries or slices of documentaries. I watched one yesterday titled "world smelliest man", link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nZlCuITw1I


The man has not had a bath in 37 years. He says he is happy because he has not had a bath in 37 years. He goes on to say people that bathe are not happy, therefore bathing makes you unhappy.

This kind of logic terrifies me.

Skyfall movie review

"life clung to me like a disease"

Wow. What a great line. Is that descriptive or what? A classic movie line if ever there was one.

I've never been a fan of the James Bond movies until Skyfall. It's always been my assessment the Bond films are simply too over the top. Too much. Not just a little fantastical but alot fantastical, way  too fantastical. They have rubbed me the wrong way.

All movies today or should I say many movies today over the top. Many movies are too fantastical. This Bond film seems to have toned it down and I liked it. I will be watching it again soon.

Another massage needed today and I deserve it :-)

I decided to treat myself today to yet another foot massage today. Normally I like to skip a day in between massages. If they do it right I need a day or two in order to recover. I went back to the first massage parlor I visited here in Chiang Mai. Now that I am experienced in the ways of Thai Massage or Thai Foot Massage, I wanted to see how the first stacked up against the rest.

She did good, a good job. 180 baht well spent.

While I was getting my foot massage a gentlemen came in and sat down beside me. He was from the UK. He limped in.  His right leg was all scratched up from the knee down. It looked painful. I asked about it and found out the injuries were from a motorcycle accident three days prior. The damage was just superficial but still looked painful. He lost control of the bike in a turn and went down. Thankfully he was going slow. This is the gift of riding a motorcycle here, they rarely go very fast. They weave in and out of traffic but their speed stays slow. Absent a helmet they still take their lives into their own hands.  No eye protection, boots or gloves they risk too much. This gentelman was wearing slippers, flipflops.

The feeling of immortality is a crime of youth... for youth is wasted on the young
 
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Dreams

I've been having the most fantastic dreams lately. The last dream to stand out was me being Achilles god of war. It was beyond fantastic.  

"Acting" vs "Being"

I passed some of my neighbors downstairs in the lobby today, a husband and wife. The first time I met them my first thought, there is something odd about him (my "Blink" moment)(a blink moment is a reference to a book written by Malcolm gladwell titled Blink). So, my first thought was dudes gay, as gay as the day is long. She wears the pants in the family. Almost every time I see them she is ordering him around. When he is feeling particularly smug and pugnacious he struts around looking as if he has a stuck shoved up his ass and walks just like Cher (Sonny & Cher). Gay! Gay! Gay! 

When you walk like Cher, you don't get any gayer. Straight men don't walk like Cher but the Gay's love Cher.

The gay men going through life acting straight are suffering in a way we cannot know but  they choose this. They do it for their reasons, most of the time I think it's religious pressure weighing down upon them to "act"christian. The thought of finding another God never enters their mind. I could tell, this was the kind of person that was hiding behind the bible prior to marriage in an effort to avoid sex with a girl. I had a teacher like this at RMC. The guy had to be thirty five or forty years old and preaching abstinence and Christianity to his Philosophy class.

No he didn't. Not just no, hell no. Of course I went to the Dean and reported him. That's not what I was paying my tuition for. I was not in class to be preached to by a homosexual in denial and preached to about the evils of premarital sex along with the importance of being a "good catholic". He was was the best example I've ever come across of a person hiding behind the bible to avoid sex while in denial about his true sexuality, gay, gay, gay. He actually lectured in class about how horrible it was to be gay.

I went to the Dean and filled her in on what the teacher was doing as it offended me on every conceivable level. That was his last semester teaching there. I got him bounced. Booted. Bye-bye.

The gay men trying to act straight are forced to summon a great deal of effort for this task and it's a task that never ends unless they are alone or in a gay bar. This guy is not very convincing as a straight man. I feel sorry for him ------------- but not really. His choice. No one is twisting his arm, except his wife maybe when she wants sex. He could change it today if he so desired.

I'm willing to bet his wife is not very satisfied being married to a homosexual. This is why she is fat. It's why she eats so much. Mark my words, in ten years, if not less she will be a huge fat blimp. She's already obese (like me). She will continue to put on weight, she will put on ten pounds every year for the rest of her life as she searches for happiness with food (a Cupcake or Twinkie) while married to a homosexual. That's a tough road to hoe. Glad it's not me. Thank you God for not making me one of them. 

You can tell with the gay men married to beards. There is always something off with these guys. Something just not right about their mannerism, whether it be with the way they walk or talk, the way they carry themselves in general. Something amiss. Something askew. They get this performance down and think no one is the wiser but it's a performance there for all to see. It's an act. They are "acting", he is giving his impression of how his thinks a straight man would act. My gaydar might not always be working but sometimes it is. I always don't want to know because I always don't care.  Why should I?  None of my fucking business but my guardian angel always whispering certain truths into my ear and I keep saying "I don't care. I don't want to know. I have my own problems. My own issues. Please let me focus on them". It's not to be.

More to come on this post.........................................................

Straight men don't think about, how am I supposed to "act" in this situation. They simply are (Acting vs being) and they go through life as they are but for the Gay's acting straight, it's an endless list of questions, how am I supposed to act in this situation, and in this situation and in this situation... Who's got the energy for that?

The five leading causes of death among teenagers in America are Accidents (unintentional injuries), homicide, suicide, cancer, and heart disease. Accidents account for nearly one-half of all teenage deaths. (link below to this data)

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db37.htm

How many of the accidents are suicide in disguise? How many accidents and suicides are because of internal emotional conflicts over sexual orientation? There is a great deal written about this subject? Too many people concern themselves with what consenting adults do behind closed doors.

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Foot massage and duck eggs

I went for my valentine's Day foot massage today and it was heavenly. After the foot massage I came home and tried one of the duck eggs I bought at the Organic Market yesterday. I'd heard good things about these eggs and decided to give them a try. First off they are duck eggs which I don't know different they are or how different they can taste from regular chicken eggs. These eggs are boiled in sweet tea. ----- The flavor is every bit as heavenly as the foot massage was. Unbelievably fantastic.


I recommend both...

Twas a fantastic Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentie's Day to me

Thank you Chip. That was so sweet of you.

"Don't mention it Chip. It was my pleasure"

I'm going to take you out later on today and get you a fantastic foot massage.

"Really"

You bet. You deserve it.

You don't nag.
You don't bitch.
You don't whine.

Money's no object. You deserve the best six dollar foot massages in town.

"You mean you are gonna spend a whole six dollars on me"?

You bet. You deserve it.

I feel like the luckiest guy in town :-)


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A "tell"

A tell in life and in business is a change in a persons behavior or demeanor that is claimed by some to give clues to that persons position or assessment of their position. A person gains an advantage if they observe and understand the meaning of another persons tell, particularly if the tell is unconscious and reliable. Sometimes an advanced person may fake a tell, hoping to induce their opponents to make poor judgments in response to the false tell. When this happens it's a beautiful thing....

More often than not people try to avoid giving out a tell, by maintaining a "poker face" but an idiot is an idiot, regardless of how strong or weak their position is.

I paid my rent for the better part of a year while in grad school with my poker winning playing Texas Holdem.

People are just to easy to read...

Air quality in Chiang Mai

The air is a problem here. There is a mountain to the West and so much smog (if that's what you call it) fills the air you cannot see the mountain. A visible portion of the population here walks through life wearing a mask to filter out dirty air particles. This is worthy of note and provokes the question why. My family doctor here wears a mask sitting behind her desk. When I see bikers and joggers going down the street and realize they not wearing the masks I wonder about that. I would think the air for them and their lungs to be a much greater issue. They are processing more air than we are, those not jogging or riding bikes. I hack up Flem balls from just walking to the buss stop. What kind of Flem ball are the jogger/biker hacking up? ----- this is one of the down sides to life in Chiang Mai.

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Feb 13th: Organic market

Went to the organic market today and bought so much food my forearms were shaking from having carried carried so much. I bought a giant bunch of bananas (15 bananas) for 35baht, about one dollar. No oranges today. I did not get there until 8am and the oranges were sold out, so were the salads. Shit!


They sell lots of prepared food there. Soups, salads. Last week I got dim sum and it was fantastic. Today I got soups and stuff I don't know what it's called but it's delicious. Delicious allouiscious.

The packaging there (at the organic market) is perfect. For things like soup, needing a water tight seal, they have special plastic bags to pour the soup into. They tie it off at the top with a little rubber band. It works very well and they are not forced to use ridgid plastic containers any more than necessary.  

I'm sweating up a storm as it's hot and humid out. I think I only slept about two hours last night. I fear the more it heats up the more I will be driven into the comfort and solice of my bedroom where there is an air conditioner I now have constantly running.

Lizzy stopped by last night. She scooted under that door and invited herself in. I said to her "there's a dead moth by over there by the power converter" (on the floor). I was hoping she would go over there and eat it. Instead she looked up at me and gave me a look as if to say.  "I don't eat dead moths, thank you very little. That would be across the board  -----   d i s g u s t i n g".

Excuse me. Like eating a live moth is so much better?

I heard her under the tv cabnit and it sounded like she was wrestling with anothe lizard. Maybe that was the sound of lizard sex and she was getting a little some em, some em (laid)? It would be good to know someone in this condo is getting laid.

One and a half beers last night. I went into the fridg this morning and found half a beer. Damn. Wasted half a henekin. That really hurts.

Going back to bed...

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M & M's

Last night I finally got around to eating the M&M's I bought for the moive theater. My digestive track had the exact same response to the M&M's as it did to the chocolate covered raisins/nuts. Digestive discomfort. Spastic colon, check. Plus the chocolate and sugar kept me up half the night.

No more chocolate ---- no more sugar. Je suis fini

I said that about beer and I'm about to pour a Heineken.... and cool off.

For those wanting to submerse themselves in Sex

Pattaya is supposed to be the place to be if you come to Thailand looking to satisfy your every sexual desire. I spoke to someone here in Chiang Mai that was down there looking to satisfy their desires. While in one of the bars they actually saw a guy getting a blowjob while standing at the bar, in front of customers. This story fits in with all I read about the town.

That place holds no interest for me or I'd be there. I do like the fact it's on the beach. I read the water there requires you to show soon after leaving becuase of the polution. I am going to visit the beach and do some scub diving while here. It's been twenty five years since I've gone diving.

Polution is a common theme all around the world, not just in America. So many of the destinations preferred by expat (chiang mai, Leon --- examples) have issues with polution. It seems you cannot even trust the seafood which sucks because I love it.

At the end of WWII U-864 sent to the bottom with all hands. The German vessel sank in two parts into more than 120 meters of water, it took with it not only the 73 men on board, but also 65 tons of mercury for the Japanese munitions industry (link below). Would you like some salmon with your mercury?

This story will put you off norwegian salmon for ever.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/11/world/europe/11iht-norway.4169209.html?_r=0


Think about it, 65 tons of mercury sitting in bottles, either blow apart at the time of the sinking of U-864 or slowly disintagrating over time) at the bottom of the ocean off the coast norway poluting it's water.