B1) My flight to Thailand

Not wanting to miss this particular flight I decided to stay at the O’Hare Hilton. Horrible choice as the valet stole my iPhone. Motherfucker! It's my fault. I left the darn thing in the car. That's a no-no. I knew better but I was feeling distracted to say the least. Leaving America. --- On the phone was my music and my audio books. Things I need and wanted for the flight over. 
  

Beyond nervous as I board the plane. What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? I shed terror through my pours like perspiration in a steam bath. Not a good time to be at a poker table. I’m thankful not to be. Flying aboard a 777 for the first time. This is one nice aircraft and big. Even though it’s a big jet they add no more room to our seats unless you spend the thousands of dollars necessary to get to first class or business class. For the rest of us, we are the sardines packed in tight. Snug as a bug in a rug.

I spot a person of interest up front in First Class. He's 6'3" maybe 6'4" a thick-neck, corn-fed Navy SEAL-looking guy but he's just to big to be a SEAL. He's a professional athlete. The flight attendant enlist his help in closing an overhead  bin. He does not look happy at the request. I wonder why?

I see an open seat up front. It’s the seating row just behind business class. I make the move there because that row of seats gets a little more legroom and this is good for my leg. Seated to my left is a girl, she looks like a college age girl and this kid is quiet as a church mouse. She speaks only a few words the entire flight. Sitting to my right is batman. No kidding. Bat fucking man. ---- he looks like batman or rather the newest actor to take on the role of batman. We have some nice conversation which helps the hours pass.
 

Batman is a trial lawyer traveling to Beijing with his son as part of a group tour. They are on vacation. Their second vacation to china. A few hours into the flight we have been fed and the lights begin to go out. One or two here and there. Then a few more and a few more. Before you know it the plane is dark and quiet. Perfect sleeping situation but I can’t sleep. Still too nervous.

Eventually I get to my backpack and find my bottle of Valium.10mg. I take two and hope they will do.

Everyone on board has their own TV with a decent variety of movies and TV programs to watch. The movies and TV programs are a perk of the 777. We also have a monitor up front to watch. One of the viewing options on the 777 is the flight path. It's pretty darn cool. I watch the flight path as we fly due north over Lake Michigan. Then over Canada. Then I see Hudson bay. The water looks cold. the monitor showing the flight path also displays air speed, ground speed, ETA to our arrival destination and outside temp. it's sixty below zero at thirty five thousand feet. 

The Valium fail to penetrate the veil of stress I’m experiencing. How I wish I had my iPhone and my music, my books, my meditation audio files. It’s not too be.

The first leg of my journey takes me and all aboard this 777 from Chicago to Peking China. The flight was brutal. Nothing short of cruel and unusual. Thirteen and one half hours in an airlines seat. Coach. My ass hurts thinking about it.

Note to self: when on a thirteen hour flight stay away from the drinks. It’s torture ending up in the restroom as it reminded me of a biological disaster right out of a Steven king movie. I had no beer or excess liquid so I made just a couple of trips to the head. Unfortunately I begin to feel the uncomfortable internal pangs of my bowls in some sort of distress. They need to be evacuated. That’s really unfortunate.

Into the jon I go. I'm quick to realize I need to do some clean-up before I sit my ass on that disgusting urine soaked seat.   --- I decide to take my leg brace off when in the jon. My timing could not have been worse. As soon as I get my pants down we (of course) hit some turbulence and I begin a forced pirouette in the jon. I'm thrown from wall to wall to wall and fear it sounds like a boxing match from the outside. ---- Eventually I get seated and for what? All that effort and energy for a turd the size of a walnut. Good fucking grief.

Then it's back to my seat.

I try to sleep but the effort feels completely useless. I feel as I am tossing and turning in my seat for an eternity. This could be hell. It's a flight out of Rod Serling's twilight zone. After what feels like only a few hours of flying time the plane begins to wake up. Lights begin to turn on just as they went off, one or two here and there. Then more, and more. Eventually the majority of light come on. I look up the monitor and see we are ninety minutes out. How can that be?

As it turns out I did sleep. Must have slept for better part of eight hour. As the cabin comes back to life I am feeling the need for an alka seltzer. I have none. Any time my stomach is upset alka seltzer is the cure. I go back to speak to the flight attendants and inquire about getting an alka seltzer. They have none but one of the flight attendants recommends a glass of club soda "it's the same thing" she declares. Really? I did not know that. I'm desperate and agree to her offer. She pours a glass and I slowly drink and hope for the best.

I make another trip to the jon but this time I hit a jon in the back of the plane. This one is much cleaner. I finish the soda and produce a couple of well meaning burps. Ah, just like the alka seltzer. It worked, my tummy feels much better. All is well.

I go back to my seat and prepare for breakfast. Pizza? "no thanks"

before long we are told to prepare for landing into Beijing airport.